Assertive Communication:

Do you have trouble saying NO, even when you really should?
Do you feel like people walk all over you?
Do you have trouble keeping your temper under control?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you might find it really helpful to learn about assertive communication.

I. What is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others.
It's not aggressiveness; it's a middle ground between being a bully and a doormat.

II. Why is Assertiveness Important?
If you don't know how to be assertive, you might experience Depression, Resentment, Frustration, Temper/violence, Anxiety, Poor relationships, Physical complaints and Parenting problems.

A note about selective assertiveness:
Most people find it easier to be assertive in some situations than in others. This makes perfect sense. It's a lot easier to hold your ground with a stranger than with someone you love who might get angry if you express your true feelings. But the more important the relationship is to you, the more important it is to be assertive.

III. Techniques:

How to be effectively assertive:
 Use assertive body language. Face the other person, stand or sit straight, don't use dismissive gestures, be sure you have a pleasant, but serious facial expression, keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive.
 Use "I" statements. Keep the focus on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Example: "I'd like to be able to tell my stories without interruption." instead of "You're always interrupting my stories!"
 Use facts, not judgments. Example: "Your punctuation needs work and your formatting is inconsistent" instead of "This is sloppy work." or "Did you know that shirt has some spots?" instead of "You're not going out looking like THAT, are you?"
 Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and opinions. Example: "I get angry when he breaks his promises." instead of "He makes me angry." or "I believe the best policy is to…" instead of "The only sensible thing is to …"
 Make clear, direct, requests. Don't invite the person to say no. Example: "Will you please ... ?" instead of "Would you mind … ?" or "Why don't you … ?"